Too Bad You Can’t Not See it Twice
We went to see Transformers 2 a while ago, and it was one of the worst movies I've seen in a long, long time. In fact, it was probably the worst "summer blockbuster" movie that I've ever seen.
To be fair, the special effects were pretty cool, and that kept me interested for about 20 minutes. But after that, I started to feel like I was trapped in the kitchen while someone smashed brightly painted pots and pans together for another two hours.
I actually found this fake trailer quite a bit more entertaining than the real movie:
So what exactly do I hate so much about Transformers 2?
It's not that the movie's plot relies more on explosions and fights than on dialogue and acting. That's pretty normal for a summer action flick.
It's not even that the movie feels like a (criminally unrealistic) two hour recruitment ad for the American military. That really does annoy me, especially when it's so obviously targeted at children. But the first Transformers movie did exactly the same thing, and I managed to overlook it both times.
No, the real problem is that I like stories, and the story in Transformers 2 makes absolutely no sense at all. None. You might think, so what? I'm here to watch robots fight each other, not worry about plot. Who cares if the writing is lame?
You'll care.
You see, even in movies that just blow stuff up, there's still a certain minimum level of storytelling required. A baseline level of writing quality that has to be there, or else even the explosions don't make sense.
Unfortunately, the plot for this movie is so senseless that by the end, you will literally not be able to understand why any character did anything. Your brain will hurt from trying to find a coherent story where none exists, and you'll wonder if maybe you're just not paying enough attention.
Sadly, the problem is not that you're paying too little attention, it's that you're paying too much. Because the more closely you watch this movie, the less sense it makes.
In the end, your best option is probably to put in some earplugs, close your eyes whenever Shia LaBeouf comes on screen, and try to relax for a few hours while you watch the brave soldiers and the shiny robots beat up all the not-so-shiny robots.
That, or you could just go see pretty much any other movie.
Retina
My optometrist is cool. He has a new camera that takes very detailed pictures of the back of your eye. Not only did he show me the best (and only) image of my retina that I've ever seen--he also e-mailed me a copy.
My eyes are currently healthy and show no signs of disease--which is not surprising for someone under 40--so I guess this is what a healthy retina looks like:
One day I'll be able to make a slideshow of high-res images that demonstrates how my eyes have changed over time. I already have the first slide!
And yeah, that big black spot is neither healthy nor normal. In fact, it's not even part of my eye. I added it to the image to blot out some of the key blood vessel patterns, so that no one can ever use this image to impersonate me in a retinal scan.
What? It could happen.
Schmendrick’s Ordeal
Since Erin and her lizard (Schmendrick) moved in a few weeks ago, life has been difficult for my new reptilian roommate.
Sometimes the shock of being moved into a new location will cause a gecko to stop eating for a while, or it can even aggravate existing medical conditions. In Schmendrick's case, he developed a severe leg infection. At first he stopped eating, and then after a while he became listless and sick.
I won't recount the entire story here, but suffice it to say that he was in a very bad way for a while there. Ultimately, the vet determine that the best way to save him was to amputate the infected leg. This was a sad outcome for poor Schmendrick, but it was not nearly as sad as dying from a spreading systemic infection, so we agreed to the procedure.
He had a rough day or two afterward, but we've since been able to coax him into eating again, and his spirits seem considerably improved (insofar as one can claim to be able to tell the difference between a sad lizard and a cheerful one.) He certainly moves around a lot more than before, which is surprising considering that he's had to re-learn how to walk on three legs and a tail!
I'm impressed with the little guy's will to survive, so I thought I'd post a few pictures of him. If you're interested, they are here.
Like Smoking, But Way More Useful.
I'm happy to see that there's finally been a high-quality study done on the potential dangers of cellphone use.
I'm less happy with the results. Especially given that their definition of "a regular cellphone user" appears to be someone who uses their cellphone for as little as one call per week. That seems a bit on the conservative side, since virtually everyone I know with a cellphone uses theirs a LOT more than that.
If it's true that brain tumors take about 10 years to develop, and that cellphones cause brain tumors, then we should start seeing a statistically significant rise in brain cancers in young people right about 2009-2010. Hopefully someone's looking into that.
I wonder if this study will get buried? It seems likely...once there was clear scientific evidence that smoking caused cancer, it still took decades for scientists to convince the general population. If it turns out that cell phones do cause cancer, I imagine that it will take most people a very long time to accept it. Hard core rationalists will be at an advantage in that case, because they'll be the first to allow new scientific evidence to alter their behaviour.
As for everyone else...well, you should never underestimate people's ability to find excuses to justify their current beliefs. People hate to change.
Life’s Goal
I ran across this very interesting (but harsh) article the other day. It goes over some points about the dire U.S. financial situation, and spends a lot of time blaming the baby boomer generation for all the trouble.
During the current Bush administration, Americans’ savings rate actually went below zero, while household debt as a percentage of GDP soared above 130%, a doubling in 25 years. These figures prove that the apparent prosperity of the last 25 years was an illusion. Beginning in 1982, Baby Boomers chose to take the easy road. Saving, investing and living within your means were cast aside as “Old School”. Boomers were handed a better future through the blood, sweat and tears of the “Greatest Generation”. Through their hubris, they’ve squandered that better future, the future of their children and imperiled our entire capitalist system.
I agree with most of what this article has to say about the disastrous level of consumer debt in our society. But I think it's wrong to blame only the boomer generation for the situation. While the boomers are certainly part of the problem, I'm pretty sure that the children of the boomers--my own generation--are just as bad. Actually, we're probably worse.
My generation tends to live in houses we can't afford, drive cars we can't afford, and generally overspend on everything. Why? Because we all want the same comfortable lives that our parents have, but most of us don't want to spend 20 or 30 years saving up for it. After all, that'd mean we'd have to live within our means for decades.
Why do that, when we can just go massively into debt and have it all now? And who cares if having it all now could mean having nothing later on?
The problem with borrowing, of course, is that one day you won't be able to borrow any more, no matter how badly you need to. By then, your high interest payments and large debts will make it impossible to save any money for the future, and that will pretty much guarantee that you'll be poor when you're old.
Obviously none of us want to be poor when we're old, but I suspect that many of us make that choice long before we're in our forties.
Another way to look at this is to understand that accumulating wealth is one of the most important life-long projects that you can undertake. And you should get started early.
You don't need to be fabulously rich by the time you retire, but surely you'll want to be more than just debt-free. You'll want to be comfortable and secure, and you'll want to completely own your home. It's also best if you can "live off the interest" from your wealth, rather than slowly spending it away and hoping that you die before it runs out.
I know it sounds kind of shallow when I say that your future happiness depends on accumulating wealth now--but it does. Just ask any elderly person:
The simple reality is this: it's no fun to be broke when you're young, but it's absolutely awfulto be broke when you're old. At least the baby boomers seem to understand this.
I'm not sure if I can say the same about my own generation.
